Trusting
But I am trusting you, O Lord,
saying, “You are my God!”
My future is in your hands. Psalm 31:14-15
I find this particular Psalm to be of the utmost encouragement. As I walk through this life I face numerous challenges. We all do. At times, they overwhelm me.
I often worry about my children and their safety and well being. Will they be okay in their chosen fields of work? Will they live a life with which they are pleased? Will the Lord’s hand bless them, protect them?
I’ve inherited a horrible spirit of “never enough”. I’ll never be enough. Never good enough, never done enough, never been enough. Never said enough, never kept my mouth shut enough. Never worked out enough, never lived enough. Never have enough.
I’ve inherited an equally distressing spirit of worry. “Is this pain in my left side some kind of cancer waiting to kill me?” or “I really don’t want to get a scan on this lump in my neck, what if it’s cancer…that’s going to kill me?”
The book “Am I Dying” on our coffee table is a testament to this. It’s a handy guide by a pair of doctors that has just about every mystery ailment, what they likely mean, and whether or not you might be dying. Guess what! In all cases, I’m not. There’s usually a reasonable explanation for the ailments. (In truth, we’re all walking a slow road to death…it’s the natural pathway of life).
At times, death scares me. Yet, at others, I would welcome it.
I love my family dearly.
Recently, because I have been “retired” from the flower business, I have had a lot of time to spend organizing my life. That’s been good.
I’ve been able to put some serious work and effort into getting Joelle and my wills organized and put together well.
I’ve also had time to get our living trust put together properly.
I do this…because I love my family. I don’t want them to have to endure chaos due to laziness or an unwillingness to take care of those things which need attention when the day comes that my life ends. As in my 3 life tips, I try and take care of what needs to be taken care of right now.
In the end run though, it’s all in God’s hands. Truly trusting in him makes it bearable, almost easing or calming, to take care of these documents related to my end of life. To know that I’ve done things well to make those who follow me lives easier, I believe, is part of the process of living well in our walk with the Lord. To put others needs ahead of our own desires and wants as much as possible. To prepare a path forward after I am gone. (after all, isn’t that the model that Jesus Christ provided?)
The above Psalm resonates with me today, as many days. It’s been underlined in my bible for a number of years. Whenever a study directs me to it, I am reminded that my time is in his hands. Today was another such time.
My future is in his hands. Period.
Part of the joy of being out in the wild and in the wilderness is coming up close to God. When I stand under the night sky in the truly dark skies of the western United States or I stand at the edge of a vast canyon in awe, I am remined that with a word God spoke it all into existence.
And yet, as Jesus Christ told Nicodemus
“You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don’t understand these things? I assure you, we tell you what we know and have seen, and yet you won’t believe our testimony. But if you don’t believe me when I tell you about earthly things, how can you possibly believe if I tell you about heavenly things? No one has ever gone to heaven and returned. But the Son of Man has come down from heaven. And as Moses lifted up the bronze snake on a pole in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life.
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3: 10-17
When I think about that, it’s amazing to me.
I remember the day like it was yesterday that God made it clear to me that he was calling me to a relationship with him. One in which we would become friends. One in which I would find comfort and peace in knowing him.
In that, I can rest. I can trust that today, as every day, it’s in his hands.
I can do what I can do to make the most of the day today. To walk willingly into the sanctification work he will be doing on and in me.
Like the exercise programs I follow or like the very difficult training my boys go through in their chosen military careers, the process builds me. The process makes me stronger and more solid in my walk with God.
Part of being more solid is by making the conscious choice to have faith. Faith that He’s watching over me.
It’s CHOOSING to TRUST him and that my future is indeed in his hands. And his hands hold all that I can see in balance. Surely, if he loved us/me enough to come and do what he did, it only stands to reason that in that love he guides.
Knowing what I know, believing what I believe, there’s a peace in it. When I get to that glorious place on the other side and I face the judgement of the Lord, I believe that Jesus Christ will be there. He will stand in the gap for me and as my advocate declare me “pardoned”. I will get to pass and walk into that amazing place in the heavens waiting for those of us who have put our faith in Christ as our savior.
And like a small child, excited about my new found home, will eagerly seek out my friends and family, those who taught me, those who believed in me, those who helped build me into who I became on earth. I’ll find Benson, my dog, and Watson if he beats me there. I will await the arrival of those who I left behind (knowing that in heaven a 1000 years is only but a moment and it will be a short time and we will all be together again).
Honestly, I really look forward to the day that we are all there. Rob, Joelle, Elise, Jacob, Levi, Ed…Benson, Watson. It will be spectacular to laugh as the kids persist through eternity doing their dad mocking and impressions, Joelle being as Linda in Bob’s Burgers. It will be magnificent.
I trust in that because God says it’s true.
rob
