SO - MUCH - STUFF

We live in the land of plenty. Most of us in America will not be able to fully comprehend this statement. We take our prosperity for granted, almost as if it’s a right to own as much stuff as humanly possible. And I guess, according to the founding documents, this may not be too far off base.

We live in such a way that we need basements (or garages in Florida) to hold and store our stuff. In Florida, the storage facilities are many and they are building more and more every day. As the area in which we reside continues to grow, so do the many storage options.

We have SO much stuff we can’t contain it inside the walls of the homes we have so we rent MORE space in which to put the stuff.

We are dealing with that right now in our household.

Our house goes up for sale today.

Our situation is a bit different in that we aren’t going to be moving to another “house” but instead are choosing to downsize as much as possible to “live with less”.

My dad…well…he keeps stuff. My friend Charlie…he keeps stuff too.

If I EVER need some kind of obscure device or just a single nut or specific bolt, one of these two will likely have it. I’d reach out to Charlie if I needed something at the flower shop, say for example, a stainless steel kitchen style sink usable in a restaurant. “Let me see what I can find”. A few days later we walk into the back of the shop and there, in the middle of it ready to put into place is said sink.

Charlie kind of reminded me of being a kid. I always wondered HOW Oscar the Grouch had so many things down in that can. In my mind it always seemed like such a fascinating mystery, what exactly it was like down in that can. He had so much stuff at his disposal down there. Something for every scenario.

Me? I don’t deal well with the stress of having boxes of stuff around holding something that some day…just maybe…some day, 30 years from now, I might need.

Does this make me better than them? Of course it does. (I am totally joking there).

No, it’s just a way we are different.

Let me get back to the thoughts on this for today.

We have, over the past year, or even the past 5 years we have owned this home, done a pretty good job of not collecting stuff. Our house isn’t large enough to store it anyway. As previously mentioned, we have no basements in Florida and the garage which is part of our home has been converted into an apartment from which one of my children lives.

When I owned the business, we had 4 or 5 vehicles for which I was responsible. All of them requiring maintenance.

As they aged, the problems grew more prolific. Because I don’t like paying a mechanic I did all the work myself. At times, it was overwhelming just how much was required. If your experiences are anything like mine, it would seem like they would all break down in some way at the same time.

Now?

We are down to one vehicle. It’s all Joelle and I need to get around. One vehicle and two bikes.

If you were to visit the Cades Cove area of the Great Smoky Mountains you might be struck by the simplicity with which the people of that day lived. Large families would live in one room houses often not much larger than a single car garage.

The Open Meadows of Cades Cove

Boy, can you imagine that today?

I can’t. But yet, I can at the same time.

As Joelle and I get closer to the place and time when the house sells, we are going to have to find a place for whatever “stuff” we will have left. I am trying to have it not be much.

Other than a few pieces I have made myself, we are going to get rid of all our furniture.

I want to keep my tools as well. Of course, there are family photo albums and books. Tons of books.

Past that?

Not much.

As I’ve pondered all this, I wonder what life will be like as we travel around.

I don’t want more stuff. I want less stuff.

Stuff breaks and needs to be fixed. Of course, that gives us something to do, but I don’t relish having too many things.

I want whatever I have to be simple. The less moving parts and gears the better.

For life is not about the stuff. It’s about the simple things.

A family celebrates a summa cum laude graduate.

What matters to me?

My wife and my kids and to a lesser degree my extended family.

People matter to me. People are hurting and in many cases the hurting is because they aren’t honest with themselves and with each other. I don’t like to see people hurting and I don’t like to see people suffer.

I’d like to spend the rest of my life encouraging others through whatever it is I find my hand doing on a given day.

Stuff?

Who needs stuff?

A meaningful time at Dante’s View in Death Valley National Park

The pursuit of stuff has caused so many families to suffer. As both parents work and work and work to get more stuff the kids, while they have the stuff, actually will often go without what is crucial and important. I see it far too much in my friends. I see it far too much in the church. So many “ministries” and being involved in them. So little time spent actually discipling those in our care (the children).

In the end the stuff is an obstacle.

When we die the stuff we have becomes something with which those we leave behind have to deal.

The more we have the more they have to handle.

We are, by collecting stuff and stuff, and more stuff, making the lives of our children more difficult because they have to then deal with the stuff we have left behind.

Getting a little altitude sick at the top of Pikes Peak in Colorado

Selling it, trashing it, organizing it, and so on.

Watching my aunts and dad deal with my grandparents estate has shown me this as has watching my dad’s end of life planning.

The stuff is overwhelming in it’s demands for maintenance and care. It’s difficult to deal with on a day to day basis.

So as I watch this, I am asking myself, what matters more?

What do I want to leave behind for my kids?

I can tell you, it’s not stuff. I don’t want them to have to deal with anything that was mine when the day comes I have left earth.

Rather, I’d love to leave them an inheritance of peace, love, and encouragement always knowing and secure in their knowledge that their father loved them, cared for them, taught them.

I want to leave them with developed character, learned integrity, practiced self discipline, and deeply instilled wisdom in the important matters of life.

Joelle and I are caring less and less about the almost nuisance of the stuff and more and more about the intangibles we are leaving behind.

My two favorite ladies

As I have watched Joelle grow in her faith and out of the bondage of Borderline Personality Disorder I have watched her become a loving mother figure to all 4 of the kids and less and less consumed with her selfish desires and demands. It’s been a miraculous road (and a teeny, tiny, bit hellish). A road that has taught ME discipline, perseverance, patience, tolerance, and acceptance. How to accept another who is the polar opposite of me while still loving them in spite of these differences.

The break up of our family in 2010 and the ensuing pain we dealt with is something I won’t likely ever forget. But to see it come together again, as best it can in this broken world, well, has been a little victory.

In the end, as a dad, if there were only one thing I could or would ever really want is to know that upon my departure from here that in short order every one of the children with whom I have shared life with along with my wife will again be in my company as they arrive in the heavenly realms.

I care not a lick of what I am leaving behind related to material goods. In fact, I am doing as much as I can while I am here to leave as little for them to deal with as humanly possible, while at the same time leaving them with an inheritance in abundance of the things which truly and ultimately matter.

That’s what I feel called to do.

I hope you are well and your life is improving day by day.

rob out