For the Love Of Money

I have lived almost my entire life…well…let’s be honest Rob…my entire life, fearing that I will somehow lose everything I own.

Money management wasn’t really taught in our house when I was a kid. I only know credit cards were used a lot and life seemed to be about credit. That’s my childhood memory.

Then, I spent a number of years in my mid to late 20’s getting into my 30’s under my grandfather’s leadership.

My grandfather, Jon Anthony, made a healthy living as a florist in Lansing. He and my grandmother built an empire as a florist goes and amassed significant levels of wealth as a flower shop owner.

Yet, my grandfather worried constantly that he wouldn’t have enough. He and I worked closely together for about 8 years and during this time, his fear of financial loss (totally unfounded) and ruin became who I was. His influence brought this way of thinking into my own mind and heart. I have not been able to shake it since. (This is a testament to being VERY careful with whom you choose to surround yourself with and whose counsel you seek…you will become like those who you spend the most time with)

He grew up in the hard times of the 30’s so it’s almost to be expected he would live life in this mindset.

It never made sense to me, seeing all he owned and was able to enjoy with his money. But it was never enough.

He wasn’t miserly or greedy. In fact, quite generous. But he struggled with worry like I have never seen in a man over not having enough money.

This has been my struggle as well.

Hebrews 13:5-6 addresses this very issue.

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

“Never will I leave you;

never will I forsake you.”

So we say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid…”.

What a great reminder.

The Milky Way Next to Delicate Arch in Arches National Park

I believe insecurity is one of the key causes of the worry I struggle with. I do live in America. The wealthiest nation to ever populate planet earth. It’s borderline shameful to live in this country with it’s opportunity and worry over money as I have and still do.

The only way to find peace is to truly and wholly trust God to meet these needs.

We are told, save, save, save. Amass a ton of money now so you can live life the way you want when you are old, falling apart and dying.

This model of living, this working to hit the magic age of 64.5 or whatever, is rooted, if you study it, in insecurity and fear.

Yes, it’s prudent to save. That’s also biblical.

But how many people do I know who chant this mantra out of fear of not having enough to make it when they are old.

It reeks of lacking in trust. Trust of him who made the massive creations across the planet we have observed.

How anyone can look into the night skies as I so often have with my camera and not be overwhelmed by his greatness while at the same time comforted by the vastness of it all is beyond me.

I think this might be why I am forcing myself to reduce my load of assets to put myself in a position to trust wholly in the God who made me for my sustenance and survival.

As crazy as it may seem, I look forward to stripping my life bare to see what He will in turn build as I try my best to humble myself before him knowing that this life isn’t truly mine, but in fact his.

Joelle and I both have committed to the concept that if indeed our lives do take a turn on our youtube channel and we begin to amass wealth like some are capable of doing with their channels, large homes and lavish life purchases aren’t in the cards.

For us, it will be about how we are able to help others who are struggling in their lives. It will be about using that money, should it come, to show others a kind act. We want to help others up and out of the hole in which they may find themselves…through perhaps no fault of their own.

This is the model we wish to live by

For me, in doing so, I suspect it may indeed change my total perspective while at the same time, eliminating this fear of loss and failure which has tormented me my entire life.

Hope you are well.

Love all of you,

rob out