But/Then

“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12: 1-2

Good morning.

In my study today the text referenced was that in Romans 12: 1-2. This text is already familiar to me because it’s one of those underlined in my bible. The particular emphasis is on verse 2.

Verse 2 speaks loudly to me. It does because of all my control issues. I have a lot of control issues. A lot. I really get tired of how many of them I have. It’s getting better, but not great yet.

You see, it started as a young person. I grew up, like many in my age class, with parents born at a time wherein they grew up smack dab in the middle of the 60s’. The 60’s followed the 40’s and 50’s, arguably one of the greatest times our country may ever know. The post war era.

The World War 2 generation built the nation in the 40’s and 50’s. The “nuclear family” was strong. They worked hard and seemed genuinely interested in a fairly moral life.

Their children, however, swung, in many cases the opposite direction.

The 60’s, for whatever reason, based on my limited understanding of the time, brought a lot of selfishness. A LOT.

Something in that WWII generation brought to the surface in their kids an era of self centered lifestyles. (We seem to be seeing a resurgence of this on steroids in our present day)

My parents were part of the 60’s generation.

It was not uncommon, in fact it was the norm, that most of us kids in that time period were left to our own devices. Both parents worked and had busy lives they lived.

I remember, as the oldest in our family, that we were home alone a lot. It’s hazy now, but it seems this was the case. As such, at 10, 11, 12 years old, I felt “in charge” of my brothers and soon to come sister.

I developed a lot of control issues that still give me trouble today.

I wanted my brothers to fall into lockstep with whatever I said they should do when I said they should do it.

After all, I was the oldest. I was the boss by birthright, right?

The one to suffer this the most seriously was the brother right under me, Rick. Rick had to deal with a lot from me and my tyranny. A lot. Rick was also an angry child. He has a violent, wicked temper. Well, we both did. I guess on par with each other. These nuclear temper flairs often were pretty destructive.

Better said, the issue between us was, I play the petty Tyrant. Rick played the rebellious citizen.

I did my best to crush his rebellion as often as necessary.

This was our life together.

Today, I deal a little less with control. Although, I am going to admit, when things don’t go my way, I still find a few of the expletives we all have come to know and love will roll out…far too easily.

In Awe at Buckskin Gulch

This of course being an example of a way in which we shouldn’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world. Something simple like this is not in my best from a godly standpoint.

BUT/THEN.

I have in my notes next to this verse which is underlined “But-Then! Let God”

There are a number of areas about myself that I do not like.

One of which is this intense desire to control what everyone is doing and how they do it.

Example from recent.

As you may know, I sold my flower shop. The woman who purchased it came in and in essence dropped a nuclear bomb in the place creating utter chaos in a stable of systems we have put into place which run the business profitably going back to how I was taught by those elders in this business known for their success and profitability.

She has never owned a shop in her life and for all I know, even a small business. But she nuked many of the foundational systems and processes for reasons that I still have yet to understand.

Watching this happen from a distance there have been plenty of “What the F#$% is she DOING?’

I keep having to remind myself, however, it’s out of my wheelhouse now. Out of my control. I have the cash from the sale, she can do whatever the heck she wants.

I love the verse today. It tells me that God cares and wants me to live peacefully.

The key here is I must “let”.

For a control problem person, “letting” is difficult.

…but, LET God transform you…

This says to me that I must make a conscious choice to ask and then let him transform me. He will it says.

I want to rule my life and make all my choices and do all the things.

However, it likely is going to fall short of what not only I am actually capable of, but more importantly, what God wants me to do with it.

It’s only if/when I actually step back and say “I give you full charge. What you say goes, please transform me”.

I embrace this promise that I can and must let God transform me into a new person by changing the way I think.

The way I think is rooted deeply in my mind, formed in those crucial times of my very young aged life. These habits in thinking and actions are so deeply engrained, I believe they can only be changed by his work and hand.

Paul says here that he will do it but I have to let him. I must resist the ways of the culture and embrace his way to think.

It’s at this point in time that he says the THEN part. THEN (when you open your mind and heart to LET him) you will know God’s will for you…which is pleasing and good and perfect.

This struggle to find my way is rooted in this.

This is foundational for me.

I have to say to myself “STOP right now Rob. Stop trying to figure it out and be in control and begin to live, as Fred Rogers called it, in a state of “guided drift”. Trust that he will bump you in the right direction as you drift down the river of your life”.

I am not sure if I will ever fully shed this control problem. Maybe, maybe not.

Having lived through a few of the significant life traumas I have, the potential death of a child, the loss of a 23 year marriage in a less than pretty way, the filing of business bankruptcy because of my personal failings financially…well, I have learned through them how little control I actually have.

So I can say, it’s better. Not perfect, but better.

Isn’t that where we all want to be? Better?

But/Then.

But if we will let God transform us, Then we will learn to know him and his will for us. In that, a life of peace surely must follow.

Let me leave you with Eugene Petersons version of this as captured in The Message version of the Lord’s word. I think it really hit’s home.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

Which Direction to Take?

I think perhaps that this new way in which I am wanting to structure this site may be a doing of this process. I want, more than anything, to help others find more joy and peace and success in their lives and their relationships while doing so through the beauty of photography and life experience.

I hope if you are here that you find it helpful as you walk through your own personal hardships and challenges. We all do and we are all in this together as part of the human machine He has made.

My little part, or better said desire, is to help and encourage as many people as possible to simplify and embrace the life they have.

rob

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