Uncertainty and It’s Solution

Do you ever walk through life confused, lost, in disarray? Do you find yourself frustrated with your life, those with whom you’re involved, your job?

Water Cuts through the Rock at The Subway in Zion

I do frequently.

Today is one of these times.

In fact, it’s worse now than it has been in the past.

I know why. And I don’t know what to do about it.

Presently, I am reading (listening on Audiobook) through The Youtube Formula again. This is the 2nd time through.

It’s a good book and it seems as though it’s the Youtube creator bible on how and what to do.

As I work toward building a Youtube channel, I have asked a few people to join us in an advisory capacity. These are people I trust and who I believe know me. Who know us. They each bring to the table gifts that I don’t have and in so doing, will I believe, make us a better model.

The book suggests doing this.

There are a few issues with which I am struggling and I have no answer as to a fix.

The book, on one hand, talks about how you “gotta be you”.

On the other hand, the book suggests you review what others are doing and try and pattern yourself after what they are doing.

On one hand, some creators seem to just wing it.

On the other, some seem to script everything.

On one hand, some creators put days and weeks into their video Thumbnails.

On the other hand, some just let Youtube grab a still of their video and don’t even bother to put up a professional produced thumbnail photo.

In all of the “on one hand” scenarios both sets of creators have hundreds of thousands of subs, even into the millions.

None of it seems to make sense, at least in my mind.

One thing I seem to be grasping is this.

It would seem the most effective approach is…being you. Me being me, you being you, and not holding back in this regard.

It’s hard, however, to be totally free with who we are.

I have and am struggling with this.

Who am I?

I am an opinionated, self appointed expert in many matters. I am a conservative Christian that believes in the greatness of America. I love people and desperately desire to help them get better and achieve more in their lives. I find that I am right about a lot. Often, people will come to me and seek advice. I will, through gut instinct tell them what would work to solve the problem. They don’t want to do it and think I am wrong about it because, well, “…You know Rob, I have to do it my way…what works for me…and what works for you may not work for me…”. If I had a dime for every time one of these people eventually came back to me and said “Well, you were right after all…” I’d be rich.

As I study this book, I find that I am trying to mold myself into who the book says I “should” be instead of saying “I am who I am”.

Initially, when we started the channel, I thought I’d do something photography related so I worked my ass off putting together photography concept videos. Over time, 50, maybe 60 people would watch.

That was pretty much the norm. Hours and hours of work for 50 views.

Then The Coronavirus hit and I started addressing the issues around it. You know, all that governmental tyranny and the “brown shirt” mask nark types.

I could NOT BELIEVE how weak in thought and belief the people of this country seemed to have become.

Many of the few hundred or so subs at the time disliked my thoughts and opinions on the matter and they left.

Interestingly, two of my most viewed and passed around videos at that time were my video criticizing Gretchen Whitmer, the great savior of the state of Michigan and our parody on the Coronavirus soon to come mandates and governmental over reach.

In a matter of 2 days the Whitmer video amassed over 16,000 views. More than any video I have produced, both before and to this day.

It was simply me talking directly to the camera with some b roll running occasionally.

Eventually, I took both videos down because, well, they didn’t “fit the mold” of the channel. They angered people, turned them off.

However, nothing has since hit like they did other than the video that stars Joelle demonstrating how to use the Shewee.

And here again on that vid. No thumbnail work, no editing, no equipment, nothing. That thing was uploaded as a farce or almost as a joke straight out of my Samsung Galaxy s10.

It’s far and away the most popular video we have posted and we had a total of about 15 minutes work into it.

Now, as I am trying to surround myself with advisors, I am getting thoughts, ideas and opinions about what to create and how to do it. Of course, this again, is from their perspective.

More confusion ensues.

Why?

Well, because if I apply the book suggestions and I review the most popular and watched videos on the channel according to our analytics, the How To and the RV modifications are most successful. That and the hiking and camping suggestions.

According to the book, I then should make videos like these, for they work.

BUT…the trouble here is this is not who I am. I am not a handyman DIY guy who enjoys doing step by step videos which show people how to do this, or that, or the other thing. Doing these “mods” videos and the step by step things is laborious and I don’t like doing them.

Who am I?

I love telling stories. Stories that inspire. Stories that cause you to think. Stories that entertain and get you evaluating your life. Stories and metaphors from my own life that perhaps through the telling will help you, my friend and viewer to get a better grip on yours.

I love mixing music and putting epic footage I have captured to it.

I love helping others fix and solve issues with life.

I love letting people vent and unload their frustrations in an effort to help them find a solution.

I am not sure how, if at all, these traits can or will help viewers or if it will develop subscribers at all.

However, I am not sure that I am actually supposed to care about that.

Honestly the people I have observed in life, the great ones that is, have never really cared much about what everyone else thinks about what they should do. They did what they knew instinctively they should be doing and then did so accordingly.

Maybe that’s the answer.

Do what I know I am good it and let God handle the rest.

Whenever I try and figure it all out and begin putting some kind of method to it, I get lost, confused, and lose who I am.

I become a fraud of a human. All of us who try and fit the mold everyone says we should be fitting in order to make life work turn into frauds.

And in our fraudulent state we find frustration, anxiety, stagnation and depression.

This is where I am right now.

As I close this out, if you could pray for me while I try and discern my path, I would appreciate it.

It takes a lot to get me to ask publicly for others to pray for me. I don’t like doing so. It means weakness and helplessness (to me) and I don’t like appearing weak.

However, as the the Lord says, it’s in my weakness He is made strong.

I need a good infusion into my Spirit and my mind from the Lord right now.

Thanks for reading and hearing about all my problems. :-)

rob out