Don’t Hit the Stop Sign

Years ago Levi (my son) and I were teaching Ed how to ride a bike.

He really struggled with the concept. Through a series of ideas, finally, we found success.

Levi and I dressed Ed in every kind of imaginable padding.

Helmet, face guard from paint balling, water ski vest, elbow pads, knee pads, shin guards, wrist guards, jock strap, plastic jock cup to cover the weiner.

He was 7 and deathly afraid…of everything.

His utter fear of falling over and skinning a knee or something paralyzed him from doing it. Bike riding that is.

Like many kids of his generation (he’s now 17), he was raised in a soft cocoon of protection with a grandmother and mother who didn’t allow him to be exposed to much of anything. It was so embarrassing to see this lunk of a 7 year old out on a bike waddling down the road using training wheels. Did I mention he was 7?

One of oh so many Cryzo fests. That was his super hero name for a while. Cryzo.

He was actually afraid of walking on grass at that time, thanks to his grandmother.

He was petrified of water, swimming, bike riding, you name it.

Of course, I’m one to talk. My kids have had some unnatural fears in life due in large part to some of the idiot ways I tried to protect them and worried over them when they were little. Happily, the boys chose service in the military. As a Marine, Jacob has had most fear kicked out of him. And as a Special Forces operative, last I heard from him, jumping out of planes at nearly 20,000 feet, Levi, too, has faced enough stuff to have most fear kicked out of his mind as well.

Well, anyway, young Levi and I deduced that if he (Ed) were to take a roll on the bike, fall, and not be able to feel anything, perhaps he might develop some sense of safety.

We were right. He did fall and fell hard the first time out with all the padding.

He cried, but only for a moment, because he realized after falling, nothing hurt.

We need this kind of walk into the areas of life that keep us feeling paranoid and afraid.

Padding to tell us we can do it and not die.

Too many people miss out in life because they are afraid of something.

Afraid of death, afraid of any kind of pain, you name it.

It keeps a lot of people at home attempting to avoid the inevitable, as if they are going to, in some way, skirt or trick death. You know, cheat the Reaper.

In truth, no matter what you do, no matter how may ways you try and prolong your life or minimize your chances at pain or dying, you will, and I mean WILL die at some point.

God is in complete control of that. Not you, not your spouse, not your parent, not your doctor, no one. God turns off the switch on your time on earth. Period.

I’ve seen so many people put off their lives in the vain hope of prolonging it. “I would love to do such and such…and certainly will after I do so and so.”

In truth, life generally gets away from them/us, and we never, ever do the such and such, because there is a never ending supply of so and so.

Sad.

I think about Rush Limbaugh for example along with a woman called Christine.

Both of whom died of Cancer.

Rush had Lung Cancer and Christine had Brain Cancer.

Both did treatments. Lots and Lots of treatment.

Both succumbed and died.

How long we’re their lives prolonged? Hard to say. Rush died about a year from diagnosis. Christine, about 2.

Both took all the treatments the doctors recommended.

Both suffered miserably through the treatments, only to face the inevitable. Death.

Rush stayed at the helm of his show as long as possible.

Christine tried to live life “normally”, but couldn’t. Watching her go through it all was pretty bad. I knew her and her husband personally.

In it, she couldn’t do anything with her husband or her kids. She just did treatments…and then died.

I had another friend, Julie. Liver cancer.

Julie, for a time, tried treatments. The cancer always receded, but would come back. It’s almost like it just pissed the cancer off all the more, quite frankly.

Julie, ultimately stopped the treatments. Why? Like Rush and Like Christine, she couldn’t do anything with her husband and kids.

She decided that instead she would live out the rest of life the best she could and at the time it was needed would take medicine to keep her comfortable when her time grew short.

Julie was a very committed and faithful follower of Christ. She looked forward to hooking up with Jesus. She and I talked a few times as her life neared it’s fateful close. She loved the Lord so much and she had literally no reservations or fear of going to the other side. She knew where she was going and was very happy with her choice to simply do all she could once she stopped treatments to just live out the remaining months she had enjoying all God was still giving to her.

She epitomized Paul’s words. “To live is Christ, to die is Gain”.

Of the 3, Julie’s story inspires me the most. I hope to have her same level of peace and courage in life should I be faced with a life altering situation as she had.

She recognized in the end what really matters, how little she had any control over the outcome, and chose to look down the road, recognizing she had two choices.

(Actually the same thing Joel Osteen’s mother did with her Liver Cancer…Julie died, Joel’s mother was healed…go figure)

Follow the path of Christine and in essence the final years of her life being remembered as a miserable existence with no time for anyone or anything but treatments. Or, accept the inevitable and do all she could while able with her kids and husband.

She chose to focus on and look at her family and their value, not deluding herself into believing she would get another 5 years out of life. She chose what to gaze upon and that’s the direction she walked.

Mind you, the doctors tried to keep her in treatments, but I think Julie understood that while doctors often think they are God, they are not.

I miss her (as does my wife who considered her a real mentor in her walk with Jesus) and admired her faith. I look forward to saying hi to her when we meet again on my entrance to heaven.

In light of this, why not, then, attempt to do your level best to enjoy what you have been given here on this planet for the short period of time you are here?

I have no idea what or where the trade off would be for anyone.

What I mean by that is this.

Of all those I know who have had or have cancer, all of them except for Julie, spend the remaining years in treatment. Often times, in the case of my first wife’s father, spend years in an absolutely miserable state. Actually, more miserable I might imagine from the “treatment” than the actual cancer itself. All in an effort to prolong life.

To what end?

It’s a complex situation with complex answers. When does one say, Nah, enough? “I have some energy right now with family around me. I’m going to take a trip and go out on a high.”

This is what a friend of mine did with his Father who was fighting cancer. His dad always wanted to see Yellowstone in the winter. They did just that. As his dad was in his final stages in his battle, they all went to Yellowstone in the winter. Snow Cat ride all the way in. The family had the Yellowstone lodge all to himself. He still talks of the trip to this day when I see him and that was 5 years ago.

Anyway…

In this video, I elaborate on the story of the Stop Sign. It’s a metaphorical recounting of an episode that took place after Ed began riding his bike without all the padding and protective gear.

He was finally able to live semi normally. However, as I discuss in this story, he did fall down again.

Please give it a watch and learn how, as I have, that we will become, or go toward, that upon which we gaze.

Whatever it is that we are looking at is where our mind and body takes us.

Whatever we are looking at is exactly what we will hit. At times, even against almost impossible odds.

Give it a watch.