Blame
Who’s to blame?
This is a thought nagging me as of late.
It’s a question that has surfaced as I have worked in “the field” for the campground with which I chose to take a summer job as a “work camper”.
Are you familiar with the grabby, picker up tools often seen by a park staff member driving around on a golf cart? They pull these two fingered apparatuses out of a bucket, lean out of their cart, grab a piece of trash and place it in the bucket sitting next to them.
It’s this device, here. Available on Amazon.
Women and their Problems
The grabber thinking has been linked to some discussion my wife has had with me as of late.
She’s working in an office of over 50’s women. Apparently they discuss frequently the (physical) problems they have and how the female over 50 problems make life challenging or difficult.
In the discussions my wife will often mention (under some irony I might add) that all of these women do little, if anything, to take care of themselves physically. None exercise, few drink water during the day, some smoke (a lot). All of these are in play, yet these women collectively blame their physical ailments and miseries on the various “issues” women in their 50’s and 60’s suffer.
Whenever I state what to me is the obvious related to these problems and how many, while likely not entirely remedied, could most certainly be minimized, I am told that because I am a man, I cannot possibly understand and in essence should shut up and sit down.
Enter the Grabber
Observing the above, one day at work was handed one of these grabbers and a bucket and told to carry it with me to pick up trash whilst driving a golf cart around the park .
It’s here the following came to mind.
Isn’t this just the American way?
Find something to make our work life less taxing, less physical, less challenging, invent it, use it, and then wonder why at age 40, 50, 60 or beyond, we are falling apart physically and begin looking for various medications to remediate our symptoms and problems brought about by our choices year in and year out to let laziness dictate every choice we make.
I mean really, consider it.
We have become SO LAZY that for us to bend down to pick something up is unacceptable. We then invent something to make it so the “needless” task of bending over is averted.
God forbid one would have to exit a sit down driving around cart to grab a piece of garbage from the ground.
Nope. Instead of WALKING the grounds, I’ll drive this cart around. Instead of hopping off the cart quickly to grab the garbage, I’ll use the Grabber so I never have to get off my ass while working; if one can even call it work at all, honestly.
And we wonder why our backs hurt, our legs are killing us if we have to walk up hill a few times in a day, our feet burn with pain if we have to stand for more than an hour on the job.
Keep in mind, in the AWFUL (truly an awful movie) movie The Whale, the character played by Brendon Frasier uses these grabber tools frequently to reach and pick up items his life choices have now rendered him unable to grab easily.
Side bar here. That movie was horrible from the beginning. This was one where at the end, all I could think of was “Why? WHY DID I JUST SIT THROUGH THAT?”
Lethargy Breeds Lethargy
Sadly, when our lives suck, we most often have only ourselves to blame. (Like my choice to sit through that awful movie…time I will NEVER get back). ;-)
Think of the above. My back hurts so I can’t bend over to pick up trash. Why does my back hurt? Might it be from the lack of physical activity over the majority of my life? (and yes, I do agree there most certainly can be job related injuries or accidents and so forth which render us in pain…I am speaking specifically to the under active adult here).
No, instead of working at the problem and improving my physical abilities by developing new routines and habits, I’ll instead buy a device to make it so I do not have to bend over. All of which only further exacerbates the existing problem. So I say; Lethargy Breeds Lethargy.
We, through our poor choices, condition ourselves to make more bad choices. After years of bad choices, the fixes seem so insurmountable that we now look for something or someone else to blame.
Why do we do this?
I believe the answer to this is as follows.
If we can blame someone or something else for the suffering we now experience, we never have to own it. Because we never have to own it, well, we aren’t responsible to fix it.
If we can blame our childhoods, or menopause, or our addictions or our handicap, well, we never have to do the hard work to fix it.
We look to Big Pharma for pills to remediate our symptoms.
We look for some kind of magic formula to fix it.
We make all kinds of excuses. We blame anyone we can think of to try and shift responsibility.
Yet, none of this works.
Why?
Because often, the only way out and through is making the difficult choice to do the hard things.
What kind of hard things?
Changing many life habits that from lethargy or laziness we have allowed to slowly wrap it’s grip around us and contain and hold us now tightly.
Getting up earlier to work out seems totally out of reach. You might as well tell me that I have to try to get to the moon.
Making time to stretch. Are you kidding? I have so much to do on Facebook. Where will I find the time?
Drinking adequate amounts of water (God’s Magic Pill for the body in my view), nope, not gonna happen. Takes too much effort.
Instead, I’ll focus on making damn sure I have the right insurances to pay for the slew of doctors and hospital visits necessary as I age because, well, it’s what we in America do.
Take water for example.
Why are so many Americans constipated? Why does feces sit in their colons for days on end (which in my view is where colon cancer starts)?
I’d argue little to no water consumption.
I am not sure that I know anyone who drinks adequate water and suffers from any degree of constipation.
I believe (while I do not profess to be a doctor) that you’re better served drinking adequate water, which help produce regular bowel movements (in combination with adequate fiber) to stave off colon cancer than to keep on doing what you’re doing if water isn’t your thing and begin a regular series of colonoscopies once you reach 50 hoping the doctors can stave off that miserable death sentence.
It’s A Real Bitch to Change
It is a real son of a bitch to change habits that have rooted and now enslave us. Few of us ever do it.
We have become so entrenched in our laziness that instead, we look to blame anyone or anything so that we put getting our life under our control out of reach and no longer seemingly possible.
We can simply invent some kind of pill or device which will allow us to never have to own our choices and instead can continue in our misery making ourselves feel better that we don’t have to take responsibility for our misery.
I mean truly, how enjoyable could life really be if we actually had to own our misery?
No. It’s far better to blame an outside force for our irresponsibility. This is the real American Way to do it anyway, right?
It’s not easy to break the bondage of slavery that holds us when laziness consumes us over the course of our lives.
The first few months of working out and changing these habits suck the most.
Few will keep at it.
However, those who do find that after about 6 months of consistency it becomes nearly impossible to turn back to sloth.
Why?
In my view because the NEW habit, the positive habit has taken hold.
Freedom at last from that horrible slavery and bondage to the perils of lazy.
Respect
In this regard, I truly respected my dad.
My dad, in his older years, did very little exercising and physical fitness. My dad and I would talk about various things he could do to improve his physical fitness and struggles.
Often, my dad would tell me that while it all sounded good, he was just too lazy to make any changes.
Notwithstanding his cancer, taking that out of the discussion, my dad knew and readily was willing to acknowledge he was lazy. He embraced it, owned it, and called it for what it was.
He never really looked for magic pills (other than perhaps his cholesterol meds) or quick fixes. He never blamed anyone or anything.
He just willingly stated the truth.
“I am just too lazy to work out”.
Well said, dad. Honest, and well said.
There is Always a Way
As a Full Time RVer, it’s presented challenges related to working out. Living out of a small trailer 24/7 and moving from place to place, often in the wilderness, has made it challenging.
However, I have managed to find ways.
I own a series of exercise bands totalling literally hundreds of pounds in resistance, a bar which works with them, and two sand bags. A #30 and a #55.
Honestly, these are enough to get any number of good workouts in.
Hiking and walking are also always possible as are any number of body weight routines.
I have a bike with which I travel as well.
The only draw back will be the weather. It rained and was cold a lot in WA.
I could have found excuses were I the type, to avoid the discomfort of working out.
However, I located a gym that had favorable prices for short term memberships and joined.
Mission accomplished.
We make time for what matters to us.
The question then becomes, what really matters?
What matters to you?
Why is this the case?
Because YOU must own the choices that only YOU can make.
Changing course is on YOU. It’s you that makes the decision to make a different pathway.
It’s nobody’s to own but yours.
Your issues are not anyone or anything’s fault. It’s not some kind of boogey man that you can pin and blame. It’s you and your choices or lack thereof to do anything any differently.
If you are stuck, I hope you will make a change for the good today.
-rob out
