A Test of My Resolve and Faith

Alright, so I am struggling.

I have been for a few days.

This struggle revolves around the question “What should I be doing Lord?”

Why, you might ask?

Well, as you know, I like to make videos. Much of this current trip’s purpose is to gain content for videos.

I have had two major events take place that have really hampered my ability to do so.

First, while at the Fire Tower mentioned earlier, flying my drone, it began to fly erratically, and in strange patterns, finally taking a mind of it’s own and nose diving to the earth from about 100 feet.

It crashed hard enough to break a prop arm and the camera itself.

No more drone.

Then, two days later, I fell injuring myself and crushing my Samsung Galaxy s9. The video capture device I use. (full story in upcoming post about The Subway)

If you don’t know, the Galaxy S9 (any of the S series) are famous for their cameras and their ability to give pro results.

I have spent the past days driving around Salt Lake City to try and remedy this problem, only to find little success.

This is one of the times I am having a difficult time understanding what exactly I am to do.

Give it up?

Or

Keep persisting?

Is God trying to tell me “enough” and “stop” or is he asking “how badly do you wish to continue”?

We all have to face such tests when our limits to reason become strained and we are left to make a choice. A choice we don’t fully know is right or wrong.

For example, I would know if faced with a choice to have an affair or some such nonsense on the road (NOT THAT I AM SAYING THAT I HAVE JOELLE), certainly the answer is clear. No. :-)

However, in this instance, the questions are:

Should I replace the drone?

Should I replace the phone with another to make videos or just get a phone to get me by while traveling and cease doing videos?

I have had my eye on the Mavic Air 2 since it’s release, but that’s a $998 investment.

A friend told me to initially buy the Mavic Mini, which I did, to see if it appealed to me.

It certainly has upped the game in video. I have enjoyed flying that little device.

Is God saying “It’s time to upgrade” or “Stop making vids”?

The video channels are struggling gaining traction.

In talking to another photographer on the trail at The Wave, we discussed this very issue.

“Yeah, I know” she said. “Spend 8 plus hours filming, photographing, editing, producing, and uploading a 10 minute video, so my mom can watch it”.

Heck, I am not even confident my own mother takes the time to watch my videos.

I know my son Levi does. He likes them.

My cousin Todd is a new convert. Actually moved to the point of near tears watching one of them together while at his home.

However, my videos might get 50 views each.

Is it worth it?

I am not sure.

I just can’t decide what the right course of action will be.

You know what I mean?

I am sure you, like me, struggle with such things.

After prayer, thought, reason, logic, advice seeking, I am still not entirely sure.

Although, today, in talking to a friend of mine that I am meeting shortly at the Airport in Salt Lake, he offered out of his gratitude for my willingness to take him on part of this journey, to help offset the cost some of purchasing the new drone should I wish to do so. He really wants some drone footage and photos of the time together.

A generous offer, for sure.

Ah, life. It frustrates me at times when the answers aren’t more clear.

~rob out